Top Ten, Live Action 90's Kids Movies

Long time, no post- sincere apologies to my readers! To get back into the swing of things, here is a favorite type of post here at Shemp Headquarters, THE MOVIE LIST.

Top Ten, Live Action 90's Kids Movies:

10. Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey 

(88% Rotten Tomatoes)

I would spend a day with Shadow, Chance & Sassy in a heartbeat. 

"My name is Chance. I know, it sounds odd, but most names do if you think about it long enough... maybe even yours. I was abandoned when I was very young. I lived on the streets scrounging for food sleeping wherever I could; that seemed like fun at first, but pretty soon, it landed me behind bars. But I don't like to talk about that; let's talk about after that... when I got my second chance... and my name. You see, this family came along, and I guess you can say they rescued me, because they adopted me and brought me to live at their house. But it was their home, not mine. Still, it was an improvement over that other place: lots of space, fresh air, plenty interesting things to explore, and all the underwear I could eat." -Chance

9. Casper (44% Rotten Tomatoes)

Christina Ricci owned the 90's and this is a great example. Casper is a well-acted, quirky film that also can be quite a tearjerker. Highlights include the gross uncle ghosts and the chair invention that gets you ready for the morning.

SMELLOGRAM!

8. Mousehunt (43% Rotten Tomatoes)

Slapstick and dry humor perfectly combine in this odd film.

"A world without string is chaos."

7. Hocus Pocus (30% Rotten Tomatoes)

Probably the best Halloween movie of the 90's and quite a cult classic among millennials. I love to hate the evil Sanderson sisters and always had a crush on Thackery Binx...

6. The Witches (100% Rotten Tomatoes)

Anything Roald Dahl is going to amazing and when you add Angelica Houston, it becomes exponentially so. 

"The wizardry of Jim Henson's Creature Shop and a superbly over-the-top performance by Angelica Huston gives The Witches a good deal of charm and enjoyment." -Variety

5. The Mask (77% Rotten Tomatoes)

Somebody stop me! So many Jim Carrey 90's flicks to choose from. I chose this one because it is probably the most kid-friendly/funny.

4. The Addams Family & Addams Family Values 

(60% & 78% Rotten Tomatoes)

Christina Ricci for the win! These movies are so hysterical. 

“Wait, we can not break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot hors d'ourves. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.”

3. Clifford (9% Rotten Tomatoes)

This is a low rating, man. Wow. This movie is hysterical, maybe people just don't get it. 

2. Heavyweights (29% Rotten Tomatoes)

Another one that is way too low on the scale. This movie is a classic and shows Ben Stiller in one of the first of many roles he would play the insane, overbearing villain.  

1. Home Alone/ Home Alone 2 

(55% & 24% Rotten Tomatoes)

If you don't agree with this, you're a replicant. 

Christmas nostalgia, comedy, young Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci. Come on!

Five Cool Rooms I Want in My Future House

Christina Aguleira's boudoir is the ultimate, sensual bedroom.

I would never leave this bathroom. Ever.

 

A courtyard to die for.

 

The most comfortable, casual sitting room for entertaining.

 

My own personal reading room.

Ten Nice Things You Can Do For Someone Else

• Make a crossword puzzle with all of your inside jokes with this Crossword Puzzle Maker! Super easy and there are tons online to search from. You could also do a Word Search. 

• Send a homemade card or letter to his or her address, even if you live together - because everyone loves to get mail! I made this one for a friend's valentine. He loves Chopped on Food Network!

• Plan a surprise day trip to somewhere they like to go and tell them what they should wear and bring that morning -- Ideas that are nice are apple picking, going to a special hike or forest, antiquing, walk the ocean!

• Make a favorite snack or drink as a surprise treat on a random week night.

• If you live with the person, draw a hot bath and a cup of tea for when they get home. Candles are not optional.

• Make a collage like you used to in middle school with clippings of his or her favorite celebrities OR a magazine article in Publisher. I made this one for my BFF's bridal shower.

• Write a funny note and hide it somewhere for them to find at a later date. I've hidden some in the microwave!

• Massages, foot rubs, and head rubs are always nice :-)

• Have an early movie date when it's cheaper and sneak in donuts and coffees. You just need a big bag and good balance. You have the whole day ahead of you after!

Fold his or her laundry... everyone hates folding laundry.

The Rise of the Tall, Blond Viking

Have you noticed how many male celebrities are tall, blond and handsome? I have. It's scary how much they look alike. Since I have journeyed from adolescence into womanhood, there have been several hot male stereotypes- such as...

• The Pirate

• Hipster Lumberjack

• Abercrombie Model

• Boy Band Member w/Frosted Tips 

• Prepster 

• Grungy/Dirty Hipster 

As you can see, I have no shortage of examples of male hottie trends. But now, it is time to move on to the look de jour and one I personally feel is timeless. 

The Tall, Blond Viking

The Viking stereotype, as I am defining it, is a man who is tall with broad shoulders, a ripped body, long, blond hair, and blue eyes. He has to be handsome, but rugged and not a "pretty boy". So someone like Chris Pine would be out because of that. 

The characters they play have to be rugged as well. They also have to be natural leaders, strong on the battlefield, faithful to their people, and a hot lover.

Let the dreaming begin, right?

Below I have three current actors who fit the bill. The idea came to me when I thought about just how similar they all look.

Chris Hemsworth

It is no surprise that this actor actually plays Thor, god of thunder. 

Charlie Hunnam

Jax Teller! He definitely looks like a viking and is featured in a King Arthur flick as, you guessed it, King Arthur. He has that not-of-this-time vibe and looks that can kill.

Travis Fimmel

This actor actually PLAYS a viking. I don't know what came first, the chicken or the egg, but Travis could be Charlie's twin. The similarities are out of control.

I AM SERIOUSLY hoping that this trend is here to stay. Give me long blond hair, a great body, and piercing blue eyes ANY DAY.

Five Ways Dawson's Creek Ruined Us

5.) Your boyfriend will not restore a boat for you, name it "True Love", and take you away for the summer on it.

4.) Your childhood and adolescence will never be woven into a successful television series.

3.) "Kiss The Rain" will not play as you kiss your high school crush. 

2.) No man will ever brush your hair at a ski getaway, followed by romantic first-time sex. 

1.) No man will ever buy you a wall.

Halloween Double Feature Ideas

A few weeks ago I posted about a Movie Bingo Party night for you and your friends, but wanted to include some details I had used for my own Halloween/Horror themed bash.

Instead of letting my friends vote on the two films, I just picked two on my own. I wanted to pick a scarier one to show first, followed by something more creepy and Science Fiction. Depending on the palates of your guests, you might want to do it this way, too. I have a few friends who are a... 

I also created different Bingo sheets for these based on general horror themes and also the movies. My friends tend to get way too competitive, so I need to work on making my choices more obscure and harder to get.

If you want more details, go to my original post: Bingo Movie Party <3

Horror/Halloween Movie Ideas:

• The Fly

• Texas Chainsaw Massacre

• Rosemary's Baby

• The Shining

• Last House on the Left

• The Evil Dead

• Funny Games

• The Descent 

• Halloween

• The Exorcist

• The Blair Witch Project

• Psycho

• Bride of Frankenstein 

• Alien

Awkward Crushes- Five Celebrities I Find Oddly Attractive

5. Adam Goldberg

This one started after watching Two Days in Paris with Julie Delpy. I have a thing for funny dudes. I also follow Adam on Instagram and occasionally comment- I like his photography. He's a great actor, but not so high up on the celebrity totem pole that I don't stand a chance... right? 

Best Works: Fargo (TV Series), The Hebrew Hammer, Two Days in Paris, A Beautiful Mind

4. Jason Schwartzman 

Rushmore, man. Any character with that attention to detail has the potential to be a male suitor of mine. He always makes me laugh and he is so uniquely good looking. 

Best Works: Everything with Wes Anderson.

3. Louis C. K.

He's probably the funniest guy on television and seems so down-to-earth that I can't help but be in love with him a little bit. He's a ginger, balding, and has a little bit of a belly-- but I don't care. He seems like he would be a tender lover and a good friend.

2. Richard Dreyfuss

Ever since Jaws, I have had a crush on Dreyfuss. I've watched most of his movies and even find myself looking forward to hearing his maniacal laugh. Not exactly a dreamboat, but something about him always draws me in. Maybe it's because he is the only cute actor in Jaws and I loved it so much I had to have a crush on someone?

Best Works: American Graffiti, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, The Apartment, Jaws, Mr. Holland's Opus, What About Bob, Stakeout

1. Adam Scott

My ultimate weird crush. This one started after watching The Vicious Kind with R.K. Simmons and Brittany Snow. I identified with the character, in a strange way of course I am not really like that character at all, and found myself more and more drawn to Scott. Most recently I watched The Overnight with Scott and Schwartzman together (picture below), which made me seriously consider the implications of sex with friends. 

Best Works: Step Brothers, The Vicious Kind, The Overnight, Parks and Recreation, Party Down

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My ideal afternoon.