Five Movies I Watched for the Sex... but ended up feeling depressed or disturbed.

5) Titanic
This is one that I anticipated as an adolescent, excited at the prospect of a PG-13 flick with the hottie who was in Growing Pains. The hype for this film was huge and it was a monumental success, despite the fact that we all know how it ends and it is incredibly depressing. We all held out hope that Jack would make it in the end, but instead we end up feeling just as miserable as we did at the end of another classic movie without a happy ending, An Affair to Remember.

This movie was released on two VHS tapes and I would often only watch the first one, just to avoid the terrible drowning sequences and the inevitable freezing in the Atlantic Ocean.

Despite the depressing nature of this film, you can't forget the flirting that Jack and Rose started with on that ship, ultimately drawing naughty pictures and having steamy sex in the back of a car. Cue hand print!

4) Brokeback Mountain

Despite the fact that I am not a homosexual male, I have always been very intrigued by these scenarios... especially when Jake Gylenhaal and Heath Ledger (RIP) are involved. This is another one I suppose I should have known could not end well, i.e. where they live, the time period, the fact that they are both married and live double lives, etc.

The passion between the two actors is palpable, passionate, and worth sitting through the painful ending. Another movie where one should perhaps just enjoy watching Enis and Jack on Brokeback Mountain, a place away from the rest of civilization where they can be themselves... and turn off the DVD player once they both get married.

3) Secretary

I remember being in the video store and seeing the cover for Secretary and being very intrigued. If you haven't noticed through the subtly of my posts, I am a bit of a naughty soul. I thought this might be kind of a fun play on a BDSM relationship, starring another talented Gylenhaal. Who doesn't love a little power play or boss/secretary relationships in film? Sexy, right? No, totally wrong. This movie is minimally sexy and is more of an insight into the lives of two characters with mental illness that makes you feel like a creepy voyeur.

When Gylenhaal's character is in need of a masochistic fix and takes a boiling hot water kettle to her inner thigh, I nearly barf every time. But I guess in a way it is comforting in the end to know that this sadist and masochist find love and are oddly perfect for each other.

2) Nymphomaniac

Okay, so I knew a bit what I was getting into with a Lars Von Trier movie. But, when I heard that there was graphic sex in an art film, I was on board. Not going to lie, Part I is pretty disturbing, but there are several parts that are very fun to watch and titillating. My favorite might be when the main character, Joe, and her friend try to sleep with as many men as they can while on a train. Not something that I would say is a good idea, but makes for interesting cinema.

Part II is a completely different story. There is nothing sexy about Part II. I was too disturbed to be depressed for this character.

1) Shame

I chose this film for a relaxing afternoon alone at home. I had heard that there was full-frontal Fassbender in the opening scene... say no more. He is my dream. I was so excited.

The movie starts off somewhat normal, just a guy with a sex addiction. Then it gets more and more disturbing, with the introduction of his sister and the strange relationship they share to the climactic scenes in which we see just how far this character will go to get a fix. All cats look the same in the dark? Right?

Agree or disagree? Leave a comment below!